Tyrique age 5, diagnosed with:
ADHD - attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Developmental delay- refers to a child who has not gained the developmental skills expected of him or her, compared to others of the same age. Delays may occur in the areas of motor function, speech and language, cognitive, play, and social skills.
ASD- Autism spectrum disorder is a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges.
I had Tyrique at the age of 38, the youngest of my 3 children. I am a single mother originally from the Bronx, NY. I moved to Virginia in 2011 to give my older children a taste of suburban life. We moved to get away from the big city life and I had hoped moving to VA would give the kids a better life with more opportunities. I met Tyrique's dad in 2013 and it was drama almost from the beginning.
We had Jr in 2014 and he became seriously ill when he was just 3 days old. Jr began the fight for his life and stayed in the NICU for a month and then was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital for about another month. He finally came home on Feb 12, 2015 with oxygen, feeding machines, nurses, and all kinds of machines to make sure he was breathing well and getting enough oxygen. Jr was diagnosed with brain damage which was permanent, and as time went on he received a diagnosis of adhd, developmental delay, and eventually ASD in 2019. Jr is my miracle baby. I had never had anyone fight so hard to be a part of my life before and I am eternally grateful he won the fight and is a part of our family.
I ended up leaving VA and moving to Delaware for a job opportunity and to be closer to my family who was still in NY. When I moved to DE I lost all of Jr's services and since he has behavioral issues he was expelled from daycare. Dover, Delaware does not have any services for special needs kids like my son that I was able to find. So, I had to quit my job due to the lack of child care and moved back to the Bronx to stay with my family. NY is a great big city and I knew I would be able to get my baby the services and the help he needs. The process has been challenging to say the least. Everywhere I go there are very long wait lists or his insurance is not accepted. I pray for patience everyday as I continue to maneuver my way through these agencies because I will not stop until I get him the help he needs.
Jr has behavior problems which is the most frustrating thing for me. He pushes other children unprovoked, he spits, he screams, and throws tantrums on a consistent daily basis. His behavior is disruptive in school and is impeding his ability to learn. My biggest question is how do you motivate a child to learn? How do you teach a child who is disruptive and has these behavior issues? I am desperately trying to get him ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy again since he started it in VA. I am hoping all these evaluations and testing will provide the help we need to get him focused and on the right track. Jr is very smart and I know he can be a great student. We just have this obstacle to overcome and I will do all I can to make sure we overcome it.
The ABA therapy has been challenging. Most of the places I called do not accept Medicaid so I’m having a hard time finding providers. I did find one place but they told me the insurance denied him. So now I’m back to square one. I cried yesterday because I was so upset. Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to get him the services he and I need and it just makes me feel so helpless. He goes to the doctor in Feb (2020) so I’m hoping they can give me some resources, because I need help.
I am surrounded by my mom and my sister and my aunts and amazing friends. I have an awesome support system. This was the main reason why I did not hesitate to move back to NY. I cry a lot because I get so frustrated and sometimes I feel alone on this journey, But my friends and my family provide an outlet for me to vent, cry, laugh, whatever I need to do at the moment. Being back home makes me know I am not in this alone and I have people on this journey with me. I have my dad also who is amazing with Jr and loves him very much. It takes a village to raise a child and my village is freakin awesome!